Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Referral Madness II: Jack Goes Too Far

So I've been getting some lovely comments related to my previous posting about Jack, so I thought I should blog about the saga as it continued.
The next day Jack came to class bubbly and normal. I talked to him outside about the day before:
"I know, they talked to me. I have to change, I'm sorry"
Again, the road block. So I said nothing more. At that point, I did figure I was making too much out of it, even though something still didn't feel right.
The rest of the week, Jack was normal as could be.
Monday morning everyone filed into class, including Jack, seemingly in good if not hyper spirits.
I begin class and we are listing and comparing character from one play to another on the board. They are genuinely attentive (rare for this class), but I think they really enjoyed being about to talk about the previous play in the context of the new one, because they all secretly love the play and I know it.
All of a sudden I hear Jack shouting as I am writing on the board. I spin around to notice Jack, out of his seat and heading over to the other side of the classroom.
"What are you staring at? Do you think that is funny?" (language here extremely cleaned up) I can't even tell who he is talking to, or would be talking to. He's never had a problem with anyone in the class before.
"Jack, what are you doing? Get back in your seat!" I shout. He reaches his destination, Ronny's desk. He hovers over Ronny's desk, cursing at him, rolling up his sleeves and challenging him to stand up and fight. I start yelling for Jack to get out of the classroom and go to the office. He stands his ground. I walk closer, remember instantly all the things people have told me about fights breaking out in classrooms, back off and run to the phone. Before I even pick it up, I hear the door slam as Jack leaves.
Somehow, and I don't know how, I am together enough to get my kids working on their double entry journals, as I take this time to pull Ronny out of the class to ask him what the hell had just happened.
"He was staring at me. We are friends so I thought he was joking. I made funny stare faces back at him and he flipped out. I have to go talk to him, this is all a misunderstanding, but I am afraid he might jump me at lunch."
Good point, kid. I think. I had been too obsessed with what was going on just at the moment, happy that Jack had left without throwing a punch, thankful of Ronny for being the bigger person and backing down.
I escorted Ronny to the office after class, Jack not knowing I could see him, following at our heels, presumably waiting for me to leave Ronny's side.
We make our statements. I have to go teach another class.
I end up meeting with the principal for an hour during fifth period. Jack was suspended, Ronny sent home for protection against other students potential attacks.
We talk for the longest time about my resources here at the school. Something prompts me to be completely honest with her.
"I don't have a master teacher for that class, he is dying of cancer. No other English teacher has a second period prep so it is really hard to get someone in there to observe me. I feel like there is no one that will take my plea seriously of all the help I need in that classroom, and it has been extremely frustrating."
Apparently those were the magic words.
The last 24 hours have been all members of staff and administration falling over themselves to help me. One of the security guards sat in on my class this morning. I talked to my supervisor this morning on the phone for a good while, and had to look at the phone a couple of times to double check that I wasn't talking to my dad. I had support coming out my ears, apologies for not taking my pleas more seriously.
It's not all their fault, I need to be stronger when asking for help. I've always hated admitting that I just can't handle something on my own, and I need to get over that.
No more ounce of chaos for those kids, tight leash all the way. There is no way I could have called the Jack thing, I honestly do not blame myself for it. But it has brought up that there are other tensions in that classroom that I need to be taking much more seriously.
Man this is long, but I have to document one last thing. I came into class today to find both Jack and Ronny absent. Only Jack strutted in about ten minutes after the bell, chipper and participating. I was completely professional, treated him just like any other student there, but completely at a loss of anything to say to him about yesterday.
I found out later that Jack has a ferocious mother, that all the administration is afraid of. They only suspended him for the day since she made such a fuss.
I don't think Jack realized what a terrible position he has put me in, or how he has compromised the feeling, if any, of community and safety in the classroom. I want to be angry, and feel confused or hurt by it, but at the end of the day I just can't muster it. He is just a teenager. His decisions were done completely thoughtlessly of all those things. They don't matter to him.
I have the resources to call upon should something (and that is now looking like a great possibility) happens again.
I relinquish the question "why" because for the time being it appears that all the resources at my finger tips don't have an answer for that.

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